Week 26: Padlocks and Blueberry Pie

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” she thought. Jordyn felt like a cold blade had stabbed her in the stomach; shivers of fear and uncertainty crept up her spine as she stood there in the L&T parking lot. The windows looking inside were dark and the chain around the front door left no mistaking that the convenience store was closed. 

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone. “Teresa? This is Jordyn. I’m at the store and it’s boarded up. There’s a chain on the door and I can’t get in. What’s going on?” 

Teresa, the voice on the other end of the line and the “T” in L&T, had owned this service station for over twenty years. She and her husband put a son through trade school and a daughter through community college with the money they brought in from this store. But times had gotten lean and margins had gotten slim. 

“Jordyn, honey, I tried callin’ you this mornin’. We’re gonna have to shut down, baby. We ain’t got enough to cover the last gas delivery, much less restock the shelves. Plus, with Larry gettin’ sick and the kids movin’ off, we decided it was just time to close. Maybe somebody’ll wanna buy it. And we’ll tell ‘em you’re the best night manager we ever had, I swear. Sorry to do this, baby.” 

A subtle click and the phone call ended. Jordyn felt sick. She’d spent the better part of two years working at this store. The better part of her sobriety had been behind that counter, ringing folks up. And now, she had nowhere else to go. No source of income, no sense of stability. It was all crashing down in an instant. 

A red pickup pulled up to one of the pumps, and Ustice Jenkins climbed out of the cab and went to fill up his gas tank. He was a mountain of a man, with wild gray hair shooting out in every direction from his face. He wore faded overalls with a white tee underneath. “Evenin’, Jordyn. What’re you doin’ out here?”

She shook her head. “Ain’t no use. Pump’s turned off. Larry and Teresa’s closed the store.” 

“What the hell for?” His voice was surprisingly high and soft for a man his size.  

Jordyn shrugged her shoulders and puled out a pack of smokes. “Don’t know. Just said they’s closing. I didn’t know ’til jus’ now.”

Ustice shook his head. “‘At’s a damn shame. They ain’t another gas station ’til you get to town or head to Hyden on the other side of the mountain.”

“I know. Ain’t like there’s a ton a folks hirin’ right now, neither. I might be diggin’ ditches by the end a the week.” Jordyn was trying to be funny, but the reality of the situation was digging into her. 

The large man hung the handle back onto the pump and closed the lid to his gas tank. “Well, guess I’ll be drivin’ on into town for some gas. Good seein’ ya, Jordyn. Take care a ya’self.” 

She took a drag off of her cigarette and gave him a friendly wave. Looking around the building, she noticed several spots of neglect that she had not paid attention to before. A leak in the awning that had resulted in a rusty stain, a broken handle on the left half of the door, more. The strain of the situation caused a familiar itch to form in the back of her mind. The Suboxone worked at keeping the physical need for the drugs at bay, Jordyn knew it did. But it didn’t mean that emotional triggers didn’t cause cravings all over again. 

She looked back down at her phone and immediately punched in a few numbers. “Jerry? Hey, it’s Jordyn. No, I’m not actually. I just lost my job, and it’s hittin’ me pretty hard. Got time for a talk?” 

The next day, Jordyn sat in a booth at Martha’s Diner, sipping on a cup of coffee. A piece of blueberry pie sat untouched in front of her. The little antique bell about the door jingled as Jerry Hacker, Jordyn’s sponsor for the last two years, came into the building. He was a slender man in his fifties with deep creases in his face. His thinning hair was mostly gray and the scruff on his face showed he hadn’t shaved in a couple days. A look of recognition flashed across his face when he spotted Jordyn in the back corner and he took a seat across from her. “Doin’ any better this mornin’, kid?” he asked. 

She nodded and took another swig of coffee. “I think so. If this woulda happened couple years ago, I’d be in a ditch, probably.” Her voice was shaky.

Jerry grimaced a little. “Get that negative shit out a yer head. You ain’t there no more and you ain’t her no more. Now, what are you gonna do to climb out?” 

“I don’ know, Jer. Jus’ don’t know,” she said, shaking her head.

“You still livin’ with yer folks?” 

She nodded. “Me and Gryphon. I feel like a leech still livin’ with my parents.”

Jerry ordered a coffee. “I’d ask how the pie is, but I see you couldn’t tell me. I’ll have a piece a the same,” he told Martha when she came over to check on them. “Now, this negative shit’s gotta go. Yer mom an’ dad love you and want you to be happy and healthy. Yer still a young woman with a shit-ton a good years ahead of ya.”

“I can’t even keep a job baggin’ groceries, Jer. What the hell am I supposed to do now?” She was almost in tears. “I ain’t good for shit!” 

Jerry furrowed his brow. “That’s the last a that kinda talk I’m gonna listen to. You’ve heard me tell my story enough to know that they're ain’t no hole deep enough that we can’t crawl out of it. The good Lord let me walk through Hell and see the other side so I could help others find their way through. I lied, cheated, robbed and stole off a anyone who would so much as look at me. I’d beat somebody’s ass er suck their pecker if I thought it’d get me a fix. Now, you been to Hell an’ back too, kid. I know it. But that don’t mean you gotta live there now. So, you got dealt a bad hand. How can we turn this problem into an opportunity?”

Jordyn couldn’t help but smile as he finished. She always got tickled when he transitioned from his grizzled old talk into sponsor speak. The best thing, Jordyn thought, was that both were as authentic Jerry as anyone could find. “I like to sing,” she blurted out before she knew what she was doing.

“Well, now there’s something new I didn’t know. Are you any good?” he said with a smile on his face.

“How the hell should I know,” she said, embarrassed. “There ain’t no audience in the shower.” 

Martha dropped off the pie and coffee. Jerry gave her a wink and a smile. “’S blueberry season. You gotta try ‘at pie,” he said after taking huge bite. 

Jordyn slid her fork into the pie and and took a small bite. It was like the essence of summer exploded in her mouth. She had always liked blueberries, but this was spectacular. “Oh my God!” she said.

“Told ya.”

They sat there and enjoyed their pie for the next few minutes in silence. Jordyn gave serious thought to ordering a second slice after she finished hers. “Did you know there was a music school close to here?” she said.

Jerry shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. You thinkin’ about goin’?” 

She ran her hand through her long blonde hair. “No. I don’t know. Maybe. I been thinkin’ about it off an on for a while. But I don’t got the money and I don’t play an instrument and I don’t know if I’m any good. It’s just a lot, you know.”

He sipped his coffee, thinking. “I was a foreman in the mines, makin’ good money off a high school diploma. I didn’t hate my job. Hell, I loved bein’ underground with my buddies. But a cart crashin’ into my knee sent me to the doc where I got hooked on pills. And let me down a road where I lost my wife, my daughter and myself. But now, I’m working for a rehab center, gettin’ a degree in counseling and I’m having dinner with my daughter tonight. I never thought I’d be here fifteen years ago. But I’m here. Thank God I’m here. He’s gonna put you where he needs you to be. You just gotta listen to what he’s tellin’ ye.” 

Tears were welling up in Jordyn’s eyes. “I really wanna do somethin’ with my life,” she said, not much louder than a whisper.

“Stop wantin’. Start doin’.” He reached into his pocket and plopped down a $10 bill. “Breakfast is on me. I gotta run. You’re gonna be fine. But call if you need me.” He grabbed her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze as he walked out. She placed her hand on top of his, just for a second. 

The little bell above the door rang, and he stepped outside. She could see him climb into his old pickup and light up a smoke as he drove off down the road. Draining the last of her coffee, she pulled out her phone and typed something in. The signal was weak, but after a few moments, the screen flickered to life and some search results came up on the screen.

STUDENT LOANS - KENTUCKY