week 43 - The Scare-a-thon fundraiser

“What do you mean slutty nurse ain’t an appropriate costume?” Amber Lynn was shuffling through the bagged costumes at Halloween City, the pop-up store filled with seasonal goodies. From cheap makeup and costumes to elaborate yard decorations and haunted house props, if you need it at Halloween, you’ll find it at Halloween City. 

Skye, her roommate and best friend, was across the aisle from her, looking for a costume of her own. “I didn’t say it wasn’t appropriate. I said that you should dress as something different than your everyday wardrobe.” She tried to keep from laughing at her own private joke. 

Amber stood there in the middle of the store, thinking. “Are you saying I dress like a slutty nurse every day? I mean, I do. So, I guess you have a point.” They both laughed. 

A huge red dragon roared and spit smoke and fog in the corner of the store. That section was decorated in Medieval-themed costumes and magic-school robes. Amber pranced over to take a look around. “What about a sexy school girl?” she asked across two rows to Skye.

“Brittany did it better!” Skye said as she joined her friend. 

They shuffled through the rows of costumes: Sexy Pirate. Sassy Harlequin. Slutty Pumpkin. “Why do all these costumes have such sexist descriptions on them?” Skye asked.

“Everyone wants to be hot and slutty on Halloween. It’s, like, tradition.” Amber’s eyes widened as she saw something on the top rack. “Awe, hell’s yeah!” she said as she reached above her head and pulled down a “Fierce Feline Cat Suit” costume. It was black pleather with a tiny domino mask, cat ears, and a plunging neckline. “This is perfect!” 

Skye, on the other side of the aisle, was also holding a bagged costume, smiling. “I think I found mine, too,” she said. 

“I’m gonna be one fine piece of big titty kitty in this right here,” Amber Lynn said as she stared down at the model’s pic of her costume. “What’d you get, hot stuff?”

Skye held up a bag showing an old-school female baseball player. “I’m gonna be a Peach!” 

“What the hell is a Peach?”

“It’s from that old movie. About the girls who played baseball. My mom and I watched it all the time. I’m gonna be just like Dottie, and May, and Marla and all of the girls.” Excitement was just running off of Skye.

Amber Lynn shook her head. “I mean, if that’s what you want, sure. But if you think that’s gonna get Mr. Cincinnati’s motor runnin’, I think you got another thing comin’!” 

Skye frowned and slumped her shoulders. “I been meanin’ to tell you, Trenton ain’t comin’. Said he got called in to work this weekend. Ain’t nobody can switch with him, either.”

“That’s what, like twice he’s flaked on you. Girl, you better off ditchin’ that sack a monkey crap now. There’s gonna be a ton a hot guys at this party tomorrow!” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, I really like him. Long-distance relationships are just hard, I guess. I was really lookin’ forward to him comin’ to Peril County for once, too.”

The next evening, the two young nurses arrived at the Black Grass Community College campus, where the annual All Hallows’s Eve Scare-a-Thon was being held. Every year, local charities gather for an evening of dinner and dancing, costumes, and cocktails, to raise money for the many good causes in and around the community. Dr. Vance Logan had purchased a table for the event and asked that Amber Lynn and Skye attend as his guests. 

“I hate havin’ to park in Bum-fudgin’-Egypt just to get to this party! There should be a shuttle er somethin’,” Amber Lynn complained. VIP Parking was next to the building, but they were about a mile away, in the student lot. If she were being honest, it was the costume constantly riding up her rear and the blister currently forming on her ankle that were setting her off. But, she wanted to look good for the handsome doctor. While he had never asked her out, there had been some definite flirting between the two over the last months and she took tonight as a great sign he was, in fact, interested. 

Skye, wearing sensible sneakers and a comfortable costume, took her friend’s complaining in stride. “You just need to get a few drinks in you, and you’ll be fine.”

“That’s not all I need to get in me tonight!”

They signed in at the front door and were directed to table 12. Inside the conference room, immaculate decorations stretched from the floor across the top of the ceiling. Spooky trees seemed to grow in every corner and the walls actually swayed with cobwebs. Eerie stringed lights and lanterns hung in the air, giving off a ghostly glow. Each table sat dressed with black lace cloths, candles, and black roses. Clearly, a lot of work had gone into getting this space ready for an amazing event. 

“Ladies, you look wonderful!” Dr. Logan said as they approached the table. He was dressed as Frankenstein’s Monster, complete with a squared-off head, green face, and bolts in his neck. His already tall frame was accentuated by a long coat that draped below his knees. He motioned for them to take a seat. “I’m sure you know Dr. Hopkins and his wife Martha.” Sitting across the table was a couple in their late 50s, dressed as Dracula and Vampira. Dr. Hopkins was the administrative head of the hospital, and not someone either Skye or Amber Lynn had expected. 

“Dr. Hopkins! I didn’t notice you in your costume. Great to see you. And you Mrs. Hopkins.” Amber Lynn was doing her best to hide the awkward feeling of seeing her boss at a social event. It reminded her of when she was a kid and running into a teacher outside of school. She suddenly became very aware that her breasts were virtually exposed in her cat costume. “Well, shit! No use worryin’ about it now!” she thought.”

The older doctor rose to his feet and greeted both young ladies. “I’m so glad you both decided to make it. When I suggested to Vance that he invite you two, he wasn’t sure you’d come. We have some gentlemen we’d love to introduce you to.”

Something was off. Amber Lynn could feel it. She just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

“Hey babe! You find the bar ok?” 

She looked over to see a striking woman dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein giving Dr. Logan a warm kiss.

“No problem. Got you a screwdriver. And for our two vampires; Bloody Marys!” She handed out drinks to the other folks at the table. Then, she finally noticed Amber Lynn and Skye. “Well, hey you two. You must be Skye and Amie Lynn. Vance and Wilber have told me so much about you.”

Dr. Logan put his arm around the Bride of Frankenstein. “Ladies, this is Hannah, my fiancé. Hannah, this is Skye and Amber Lynn; the two best nurses at our hospital! I’m hoping you can help me talk both of them into moving down to the ER with me.”

Amber Lynn could feel the blood rushing from her head. She was an idiot. A complete idiot. How could she have read the signs so wrong? “He was flirting with me, right? Jesus, I’m such an asshole!” she thought. 

Skye stuck out her hand toward Hannah. “Pleasure to meet’cha, Hannah.” They shook hands. She nudged Amber Lynn with her elbow and her friend did the same.

“I think I called you Amie before, sorry about that,” Hannah said. Amber Lynn thought her smile was akin to a cat staring at a birdcage.

The music suddenly faded down and a blonde woman in a scarecrow costume took the stage. “Good evening to all of you ghosts and ghouls out there. My name is Blair Montgomery and I am the program director at Peril County Community Help Center. It is my absolute pleasure to welcome you to this year’s Scare-a-thon! This is my first time at the event, but I can already tell, it’s going to be a fabulous night! We’ve got Kloberin’ Karl Karloff and the Krazy Killers all set to play for us. We’ve got a silent auction with tons of great items and events. We’ve got a gourmet meal catered by my future father-in-law’s new BBQ company and most importantly, we’ve got an open bar until 11:30! So, kick back, have fun, and let’s raise some money for Peril County!” 

The crowd applauded as she walked down and a creepy dance song began blasting through the speakers. “There they are!” Mrs. Hopkins said, looking off into the distance. Amber Lynn followed her gaze off toward the entryway and saw two rotund twins walking in. They were wearing matching costumes she was having a hard time understanding. They looked like eggs wearing overalls and cowboy hats. The brothers seemed to be in their early 20’s and were almost as wide as they were tall. “There’s our boys!” 

The two egg-shaped twins came over and kissed their mother on either cheek and patted their father on the back. “Mommy, Father. we made it,” the left egg said. 

Dr. Hopkins stood to present his sons. “Amber Lynn, Skye, please let me introduce our twins, Mac and Mike Hopkins.” They both gave awkward half bows. “When I told Vance that I wanted to bring the boys with us, he thought you four might hit it off.”

Amber Lynn kicked Skye under the table as the egg-twins flanked them, taking the open seats on either side of the ladies. “Hi, I’m Mac,” said the one on Amber Lynn’s side. His voice was high and nasal. Now that she was up close and personal with one of the eggs, she was certain that this was the last place on Earth she wanted to be. She forced a smile and looked over at Skye. 

“And I’m Mike.” 

Skye took in a deep breath. “You’re costumes are interesting. What are you both supposed to be?” 

“We’re egg farmers!” they said in unison. 

“Our boys have always been into agriculture, haven’t you boys?” Mrs. Hopkins said, beaming with pride. 

Amber Lynn scanned the room, looking for an escape hatch. “Who needs a drink? I sure could use one. Skye?”

The two excused themselves and headed for the bar. “I think they like us,” Amber Lynn heard one of the twins tell someone as they were walking away. 

“Listen, how soon can we ditch Tweedle-Dick and Tweedle-Dork back there?” Amber Lynn huffed as she hurried toward the bar. 

“Amber, hon, I know this isn’t what you were expecting. But those boys are the sons of the man who runs our hospital. We can’t just blow them off!” Skye rationalized. 

She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, fine.” A cute bartender with a long goatee and tattoos running along both arms came over to take their order. “I’ll take a double shot a’ you to go!” she said with a grin.

“I’m afraid I’m not on the menu tonight, ladies. But we’ve got a nice selection of wines, beers, mixed drinks and shots. What can I get ya?” His voice was gruff and deep. 

“I’ll take a white wine, please,” Skye said. 

“And for you?” he asked, getting a good look at Amber Lynn. 

“Give me three kamikaze’s and an Irish car bomb.”

A half grin climbed up the right side of his face. “Sorry, miss. Two drink maximum per trip. Company policy.”

“Well, what is gonna get me wasted the absolute quickest that don’t taste like absolute gasoline?” she asked, leaning into him a little. 

“Two LIT’s coming up.”

“Make it three. She wants one too!”

The rest of the evening was a comedy of social blunders. The egg-twins asked Skye and Amber Lynn to dance, and out of obligation to their employer, they agreed. But once on the dance floor, the bulbous costumes hanging over their equally bulky frames made any rhythmic movements virtually impossible. And when the next song Kloberin’ Karl and his band played was a ballad, Mac and Mike just couldn’t quite manage to reach out and hold on to their dance partners. 

After a few drinks, Amber Lynn found it easier to ask Hannah about her upcoming wedding to Dr. Logan. “So, how long you two been together?” “When’s the big day?” “Where’d you meet?” “You sure about goin’ thru with it?” It was more of an interrogation and Skye finally had to intervene. 

“Amber, hon, you gonna finish your cheesecake? It’s pretty good!” 

She shook her head. “I don’t want no damn cheesecake.” 

Around 10, Dr. Hopkins dropped his napkin onto the table. “Well folks, this has been a wonderful evening, but I’m afraid it is getting to be the boy’s bedtime. If they don’t get their full eight hours, they get fairly grumpy.” 

Mrs. Hopkins rose and circled the table, wrapping her arms around both Skye and Amber Lynn. “It was so good to meet you girls tonight. I sincerely hope we will be seeing more of your.”

Mike and Mac stood across the table from them, hands folded in front of their overalls. “Would it be alright if we contacted you in the future?” the one of the left said. 

Amber Lynn raised her glass as if in cheers. “Text away, egg farmer!” 

After the Hopkins family left, Hannah turned to the girls and motioned for her fiancé to lean in as well. “Ladies, I get what’s going on here. And I have to apologize. I’m sure you wanted to come here and find some guys and have a good time. The Hopkins twins were probably not what you were expecting.”

Amber tipped her glass back, draining it. “Not what I was expecting from tonight at all,” she confessed. 

After the party ended, Dr. Logan and Hannah thanked the girls for coming out and made sure they were safe to get home. “I only had the one glass of wine. I think we’re ok,” Skye said. 

The blister on Amber Lynn’s ankle had grown to the size of a silver dollar as she finally made her way to the car. “’S jus’ not fair! Wha’s she got that I a’int?” 

“Not a thing, doll. Not a thing.” 

Across the parking lot, the hot bartender was loading kegs into a pickup. “Hey! I’m too drunk and sad right now. But any other night, I would rock your ‘effin’ world!” Amber yelled. 

He sat the keg down on the ground and walked toward them. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “Name’s Ed. Call me when you’re up for it.”

Skye herded Amber Lynn into the car and started back to their apartment. “Man, what is it with us and bartenders?”